A start. And a setback.

Day 1- Did it! 45 minutes on the elliptical.

So much resistance- lost keys, yoga pants that no longer fit, and kids that needed to be taxied across town and back. I felt defeated before I even hit the gym, but I was determined that I would not let the sun set without doing some form of exercise.

Day 2- Not so much.
I was looking forward to heading back to the gym yesterday. My body had other ideas. It started about a month ago- my hands and feet have had increasing bouts of numbness. At first they would just go numb for a few minutes at a time. Then minutes stretched to hours.  By yesterday? The numbness lasted all day. My foot kept giving out, spilling me to the side as I walked. I kept waiting for it to get better, so that I could go to the gym again. It never did. I called the doctor and have an appointment for Friday. In the meantime, I have to figure out a way to work around this.

<----------See that profile picture over there? That was me 5 years and 50 pounds ago. Before depression. Before abilify messed with my ability to regulate insulin. Before the act of merely getting out of bed was a challenge. Before... when I actually DID things.

It's time for a change. I was reminded of Newton's First Law of Motion, you know, the old object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion yadda, yadda, yadda. I've been at rest for far too long. I need an unbalanced force to get me moving. Today that force is the fear of closing in on 200 lbs.

Tomorrow I will embark on a hundred day fitness journey. I want to see if the act of moving will continue to propel me forward in other areas of my life.  I will commit to no less than 15 minutes of exercise a day. That is just the baseline. Ideally, I am going to aim for 30-60 minutes per day.

I know I will struggle. I know there will be days that I will hate it. But what choice do I have?